What Keeps Me Up at Night in Midlife
Posted on 18. Sep, 2008 by Karen in Midlife Moments, Reflections
One thing that went out the window when I hit midlife was a good night’s sleep. I started midlife in the throes of an early menopause. Sweet dreams turned into nights of swimming in my sheets with unrelenting night sweats.
I remember waking up drenched on cold wet sheets laying next to my then husband who always seemed to sleep through it all. Have you ever tried to dry out a bed without waking up the other person in it? Well I’m here to tell you it takes lots of ingenuity and lots of towels.
But even after the night sweats passed I still never went back to a good night’s sleep. Want someone to talk to at 2am. Just call me. It feels like I’ve been up for 10 years as my physical “awakenings” were replaced by the issues of midlife that swirl around my daytime thoughts and haunt my subconscious at night. I “night-think” (day-dreaming in the dark) about:
- Whether I’ll ever be able to retire
- Whether I even want to
- My best friend who has Alzheimer’s
- My mother who has dementia
- Will I stay in Michigan where I live now
- Will I find my soul mate
- Money
- The economy (I’m surprised if anyone can sleep this week!)
- The outcome of the presidential election
- Will I stay healthy and yes, occasionally
- What I’ll blog about the next day.
The transitions of midlife bring so many opportunities for rediscovery, reinvention and renewal that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to dream, plan and process. But I realize, I’m not the only one up at 2am.
What keeps you up at night in midlife?
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4 Responses to “What Keeps Me Up at Night in Midlife”
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Eileen
18. Sep, 2008
Karen,
I would love to say I am through the night sweats, but I’m not. However they have been a mixed blessing….my night sweats pushed me into starting my own internet business. Sometimes I awake for no good reason, other times I night think like you. Sometimes I am worrying about college tuitions, sometimes I am thinking about work. I always tell women that I equate this time in life to when my children were small. I never slept then either. And….let’s not forget what happens if we dare to take a drink past 9. That’s a guaranteed 2 trips to the bathroom at night. I take consolation in the fact that I am not alone. There are many mid life night crawlers out there.
Rhea
19. Sep, 2008
Great stuff. I have not had any real menopausal things, so I ’stay up’ with some of the same worries you have: Whether I’ll be able to retire, where I will live (I can’t see staying in Boston with the brutal winters), will I find my soul mate, will I have enough money, will I stay healthy, and will I ever achieve my dream of starting a screenwriting career.
Suzanne Sadek
22. Sep, 2008
Yes. I can relate. Not sweating yet, but have been up since 2am and now it is 3:40. Seem to wake up alot these nights. Usually able to turn it off and go back to sleep, but some nights it’s not as easy.
As I get older, any sort of conflict keeps me up. Or call to the bathroom. Does the bladder shrink with age?
Karen
22. Sep, 2008
Eileen and Suzanne–as a fellow “night-crawler” (love it), if I wasn’t up at night, that gets me up. And I thought I was the only one with the world’s smallest bladder. Guess not. And Suzanne, I thought you were just a night-owl, not a night-worrier. Eileen–love how you put your night sweats to good use by starting an Internet business. Just goes to show you that menopause is good for something!
Rhea–guess I better rethink my midlife fantasy of moving to Gloucester. I never think about the winters since I’m only there in summer. As for the other things that keep us up at night, I’ll cross my fingers — for both of us!
Karen