The One Vote Barack Obama Won’t Get
Posted on 03. Nov, 2008 by Karen in Caregiving, Family and Friends, Inspiration, Politics
I’m here to report that there’s one vote Barack Obama won’t get in this historic presidential election — my 89 year old mother’s. But don’t get excited John McCain. This isn’t a vote for you. You see, Mom’s not voting for Senator Obama simply because she can no longer understand what the voting process is all about. The dementia she has suffered from for years has robbed her of the ability to make an informed decision in this election. Mom would be devastated if she knew.
But she doesn’t. I had a conversation with her this past weekend to see if there was any hope of her being able to exercise her voting rights. When I asked her if she knew who was running for president — she didn’t. When I explained about the candidates, as objectively as possible, and asked Mom if she had an opinion on who she’d vote for — she didn’t. And when I asked her if she wanted me to get more information for her — she didn’t. At that point, I watched her retreat into the cave of her dementia; that place where she doesn’t have to face the fact that she can no longer make important decisions like the one that will be made tomorrow.
If she were able, I know in my heart that my mother would be honored to have the opportunity to vote for Senator Obama. There are many other seniors like my mother who are unable to vote for him tomorrow, though, for reasons beyond their control. Let’s not forget them. We stand on their shoulders — their efforts through the years form the foundation for the choices we have this Election Day.
So in honor of the choice Mom would make if she could, I’m dedicating my service as a legal monitor at the polls tomorrow to her. If there’s an senior in your life whose mental and physical disabilities keep them from voting –
What can you do to honor them on Election Day?
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9 Responses to “The One Vote Barack Obama Won’t Get”
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Joseph
03. Nov, 2008
My heart goes out to you. Fortunately, my parents were hale and hearty until the end was almost there. My dad had a massive stroke and died a month later. My mother lost to cancer, but just the last couple of months had her low. Both died at age 78. Now my wife’s parents are aging. My mother-in-law is 80 and is becoming very frail. My father-in-law is 79 and still in wonderful shape. But you never know what tomorrow is going to bring.
Rhea
03. Nov, 2008
I never thought about this before. That’s a lot of votes to lose.
Kim Pearson
03. Nov, 2008
Thanks for this, Karen. Both my stepmother and former mother-in-law are dealing with this. Like you, I know they both would have been deeply engaged in this election. My stepmother, particularly, taught me to care about the political process. Tomorrow I will vote in their honor, and for all of the forbears who sacrificed to protect our right to cast a ballot.
Chris
03. Nov, 2008
Our family just got back from delivering polling place hang tags to registered democrats and it turns out that several of the locations we were assigned here in VA were assisted living centers…I was pleased to learn that there are several busses scheduled at the facilities to help seniors get to the polls. It is going to be a nail biting day tomorrow. I wish your mom were able to experience what promises to be a wonderful new day for the USA. I think Kim P.’s idea of voting in honor of someone is a wonderful idea.
Karen
03. Nov, 2008
Joseph–thanks so much for sharing your experience. I don’t know which is worse–having your parents die quickly or haven’t them linger with degenerative illnesses. What I do know is that no matter how prepared you think you are — you aren’t. This is the tough part of the midlife trip.
Rhea — far too many! This should be something that gets written in a power of attorney for future elections. Wonder if we could do that. Happy Election Day tomorrow!
Kim–thanks so much for the feedback. I love reading your posts but the one you linked is special. And amen to what you say last. When I think of all my family who fought for the right to vote, this election would have meant so much. You’re right — we do vote in their honor.
For everyone who reads this, exercise your right to vote on Tuesday, November 4th. See you at the polls!
Karen
Barbara
03. Nov, 2008
Karen, I know what you are talking about here. One of my daughters and I helped my mom complete her absentee ballot so my mom was able to vote. While she is sometimes confused about who is running (she told me one day that she was voting for President Clinton), she is and always has been a life-long Democrat, which she still remembers, so she was able to voice her vote. Thanks for the important post. Warmly, Barbara
Plain Truth
05. Nov, 2008
Well… I will pray for your mother’s comfort and healing. But, the fact of the matter is. All our bodies get old, they start to shut down, and eventually cease to exist. Instead of investing money into keeping us living longer, what we need to do is invest in things that improve the quality of life for the vas majority.
Karen
06. Nov, 2008
Barbara–if my mother had been able to voice her role, we would have made sure she voted. She was a life-long Democrat too. But it was painfully clear that Mom couldn’t process any of the info about the candidates or their qualifications.
Plain Truth–thanks for your warm wishes and prayers. I understand what you mean about improving our overall quality of life but I don’t think I could ever not invest in as good a quality of life for seniors like my mom.
Karen
Marilou
23. Dec, 2008
My 88-year-old Mom also has vascular dementia. She has little long term or short term memory. So when I visited her in her nursing home one October day, I was surprised to see that she had a voter’s registration card on her desk. But I was even more shocked when I visited her after the Nov. 4th election and saw the sticker on her desk that said “I voted today”. Dementia may stop elderly voters in other states, but here in Illinois (home of “sell the Senate seat” Blagojevic) not even severe dementia can keep ‘em away from the polls.