Midlife’s A Trip

Tomorrow is my niece’s 5th birthday.  Here in the blogosphere she’s know as the “Peanut“.  From time to time I write about her and amazingly the life lessons I learn from this little person.  So in honor of the big “5″, here’s a post from the best of Peanut .  I love you sweetie!

Last spring on a great sunny Saturday afternoon, I went to the zoo with my sister and then 4 year old niece, “the Peanut”. The plan was to let the Peanut hang out at the play-scape for a while and then see the animals. Nice and simple. Not.

The Peanut didn’t want to leave the play-scape and went into full drama queen mode. You haven’t seen crying until you see her in action. Tears began to flow, wailing escalated and her arms hung at her sides in the most pitiful dejected fashion. According to the Peanut at that moment she not only didn’t want to see the animals — at that moment she hated the animals. You could almost feel sorry for her if it wasn’t for the fact that it was a complete crock.

Now mind you, I love my niece dearly but as someone on the back end of parenting (my son is 33) I know an act when I see it. So I stood by for a few minutes while my sister cajoled, explained and did her best to calm the Peanut down and move her towards the animals. But when it became clear that my sister’s tactics weren’t working, I stepped in.

I invited the Peanut into “my office” — a space next to a picnic table and away from her mom. The Peanut continued to cry. I reached in my purse and pulled out a Kleenex which I held out to her without saying anything. Her sobbing slowed down but I could tell I had her attention. Then I said:

Peanut, you can take this Kleenex, wipe your face and come with your mom and me to see the animals. Or if you don’t want the Kleenex, we’re going to the car right now and leaving. It’s your choice.

The Peanut didn’t hesitate. She reached out, took the tissue, wiped her face and within minutes we were headed off to see the hippo, which wasn’t the biggest attraction for me that day. What was really amazing was how the Peanut, when faced with two clear choices, set aside the drama and made a decision that got her the best outcome.

Watching the Peanut in action reminded me how far I’ve come. I used to agonize over life choices and hang out at the proverbial fork in the road. But now I too move pretty quickly past the drama to the best choice. I think it has something to do with a right turn I took on my midlife trip — and, more importantly having the Peanut as my role model.

How do you move past struggle to the best choices in your life?