Midlife’s A Trip

Mom, Dementia and Me—You Can Have the Remote

Posted on 11. Jan, 2008 by Karen in Alzeimer's & Dementia, Death and Dying, Misc

I was out visiting my mom recently.  As I’ve mentioned she has severe dementia and lives in a memory care center.  Because Mom believes that she is perpetually being evicted from her “dorm room” as she calls it, she packs everything in the room–everyday.  The thing we have the hardest time finding is the TV remote.

So each visit I try to ferret the thing out from its latest hiding place to support my fantasy that my mother actually watches her television.  She doesn’t.  But for some reason it gives me comfort to think that, despite her dementia, she has the ability to concentrate on a television show.

As I started looking for the remote, Mom just sat there and watched me intently.  After going through the closet with no luck, I headed to the dresser.  Mom continued to watch.  I pulled out drawer after drawer with no success.

Now for the squeamish and those who believe that possession of the remote is a sacred thing, like my dad did–you may want to stop reading here.  OK, don’t say I didn’t warn you.  I pulled out the last drawer and there was the remote in all its glory lying next to the toilet brush from Mom’s bathroom.  Eeeewww!!

As I gingerly plucked the toilet brush and the remote out of the drawer, I saw a little smile curve the corners of Mom’s mouth.  She didn’t say a word but I’ll lay you a dollar to a donut that she remembered those days when Dad used to hog the remote and was thinking—

“You can have it honey.”

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