Midlife’s A Trip

Mom, Dementia and Me — I’ll Have a Double

Posted on 22. Oct, 2007 by Karen in Misc

Yesterday was a beautiful fall Sunday–blue skies, warm temperatures (at least for where I live) and overall a day to be outside.  I also thought what a great day to get my mom outside for some fresh air before cold weather sets in.  So I drove out to the memory care facility where Mom lives. 

When I arrived, Mom was excited to go for an outing with me.  So we got her new blue jacket and off we went.  Although it was shortly after lunch, I asked Mom if she was hungry.  She replied she wasn’t but her interest in food peaked when I suggested that we have ice cream sundaes on this wonderful sunny Sunday.  We had a laugh over this tongue-twister.

We went to the little Coney Island restaurant nearby.  Mom looked at the dessert menu but wasn’t too interested in anything chocolate.  Then I found a strawberry sundae on the regular menu and her eyes lit up.  We discussed whether she wanted whipped cream, a cherry and nuts.  I could see that she was excited about this treat.  So when the waitress arrived to take our order, I told her what Mom wanted.  The waitress asked whether Mom wanted one scoop of ice cream or two–the one issue that we failed to cover about her choice of sundaes.

Mom just looked at the waitress.  I could tell she was having trouble with the question.  I repeated it–”one scoop or two”.  Mom sat there for a minute and all of a sudden a light bulb went on and she asked “what time is it”?  I didn’t get the relevance of the question but checked my watch and reported “3:30″.  Mom smiled and said confidently “Oh.  Well then I’ll have a double.”

I had to smile inwardly about Mom’s answer.  I think some nerve endings fired in her brain and triggered a memory that sometime in her past she could have a double something after a certain time.  Coming from the generation that loved their martinis and Manhattans, I’m guessing that Mom’s memory was about some favorite cocktail.

So we sat together Mom and me–she enjoyed her ice cream down to the last spoonful and I giggled about her “double”.  When you have a loved one with dementia, you learn to cherish those moments when you can find a little humor in the situation. 

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