Mom, Dementia and Me–Bedtime

Posted on 29. Oct, 2007 by Karen in Misc

I was out to see my mom recently in her assisted living facility.  They had called to say that she had a fever and bad cough.  With an 88 year old, those could be signs of pneumonia so my brother and I raced out to see Mom.  It was 10 pm and she was still up pacing the halls.

Nighttime is difficult for Mom.  She often has what is called "sundowning".  I don’t know the actual medical description for this, but the effect is that my mom is more confused and disoriented.  She often walks around for hours with no destination.  Just wandering.

On this particular night, my brother and I tried to reason with Mom to get her to lay down and rest.  She was exhausted and not feeling well but her sundowning kept her from just getting in the bed.  After a technician came to take some chest X-rays, we finally convinced Mom that it was bedtime.  As soon as I got her nightgown on, Mom laid down and was asleep in less than 2 minutes.

My brother and I stayed for hours waiting to find out the X-ray results.  At about 1:30am, we learned that Mom didn’t have pneumonia so we felt comfortable leaving for the night.  As we headed out, I tucked Mom in, remembering a time long ago when she did the same for me.  I leaned over to kiss her on the forehead and she jolted awake.  But as soon as she saw my face, my mother smiled gently in recognition, closed her eyes and went back to sleep.  She was free from the sundowning for the night.  I smiled too.

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3 Responses to “Mom, Dementia and Me–Bedtime”

  1. Michael

    30. Oct, 2007

    I am sure that kiss meant the world to her as it did for you. :)

  2. Greg

    05. Nov, 2007

    One of my biggest fears has been what will happen as my own mother gets older … she is 77 right now, and doing fairly well. I did have a scare last year with her – and thought I was going to have to use an assisted living facility … but she bounced back enough that it didn’t become necessary.

    You are a good person. I’m sure your mother appreciated the kiss you gave her. ;o)

    Greg
    http://www.midlifebachelor.com

  3. Karen

    13. Nov, 2007

    Greg-

    We had a couple scares before we had to move my mom to assisted living. If you’re like me you probably want to preserve your mom’s independence for as long as possible.

    The best thing I can tell you is be grateful for her current independence. Also have a plan B if you need it because in the case of my mom, we didn’t have much time to do a search for an assisted living facility when the time came that she needed one.

    Thanks for sharing. I hope you’ll stop by often. I plan to visit http://www.midlifebachelor.com–just stopped by and learned a lot in my brief visit. Great site–lots of laughs too.

    Karen

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