Midlife’s A Trip

Losing Loved Ones–The Real Midlife Crisis

Posted on 24. Oct, 2007 by Karen in Family and Friends

Today is the 5th anniversary of my dad’s death.  There–I said it.  Death.  Not "passed away" or any of those other ways of saying someone died other than using the dreaded word.  Death.

I miss my father’s smile, his sense of humor, his wisdom and I just plain miss being in his presence and being able to hug him.  I carry him in my heart always but today, especially, I wish he was here. 

Last week, I had a dream about Dad and we were having a conversation about prostate exams.  Don’t ask me where the topic came from because I don’t remember us talking about this.  But can I just say–it was so great to talk with him again.  Even in my dreams. 

I stopped by the cemetery today where Dad’s ashes are interred.  It’s a beautiful area with trees, wildlife and a little stream.  A good place for the tears I needed to get out of me.  The squirrels paused their chattering and acorn gathering to watch this middle-age woman standing alone, wad of Kleenex in hand, crying for the father she still grieves for five years later. 

I guess the blessing is that I don’t cry every day like I did at first.  The glaring brilliance of my grief has softened over the years into a patina on my soul.  It’ll always be there but not in the life blinding way it was after Dad died. 

For those of us in midlife who are blessed to have loved ones still with us, their loss during this period of our lives will be the true crisis of midlife.  Let it also be the valley where we connect, share our grief and comfort one another.  See you there. 

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