In the Heat of Midlife
Posted on 05. Sep, 2008 by Karen in Misc
Peri-menopause was the first stop on my midlife trip. It rolled in when I was about 45. I remember visiting my doctor because I was having night sweats. I told him I was in menopause.
Knowing me as he does (I’m a doctor’s daughter), he took my astute “diagnosis” with a slight roll of the eyes and a smile. Somewhat smug, he assured me that it was far too early for me to be in menopause. To pacify me, though, he took some tests. My estrogen was on the floor!
I take no pride in being right on this point. Menopause for me was hell. And it really felt that way. I was hot all the time. Day, night, it made no difference. I was just hot–not as in “boy is she hot” but as in sweaty and uncomfortable. If you’ve been there, you know what I’m talking about.
Let’s view the anatomy of a hot flash. Haven’t had one yet? Thank your lucky stars because they are the pits. Just picture me as a match and somebody struck me. I remember so many times where I was literally on fire from the waist up. Never understood it but that’s the mystique of menopause. Strange symptoms, weird feelings–anxiety as the adrenaline surged through me during each hot flash as if I had just run a marathon.
One day, being the quasi-analytical person that I am, I did a scientific experiment during a hot flash. Beats just sitting there on fire. The memory is so clear. I was in my apartment looking out at the Detroit River with a thermometer in my mouth as the flash grew in intensity. That’s menopause slang for “put the hose on me, please”.
As beads of sweat started to pop up out my forehead, arms and other places north of my waist–I kept the thermometer under my tongue sure that the heat in me would register on the little glass stick. I waited minutes–which seemed like eternity–for the hot flash to pass and then slipped on my reading glasses to check the tiny little numbers sure to register the fire within. Analytics to hell and back–my temp was normal.
Now being in the heat of menopause wouldn’t be complete without a discussion about night sweats. A night sweat is basically a hot flash that hits while you’re sleeping. Here’s the drill. Wake up in the middle of the night in a panic. Nothing’s wrong but your adrenaline tells you there is.
As you move up from deep sleep into consciousness you realize you’re cold. Wake up a little more and you realize the reason you’re cold is that you are lying between 2 drenching wet sheets in sopping wet nightclothes. I–who sweats very little unless extreme exercise is involved–was amazed at the amount of sweat I could produce during a single night sweat. Buckets, I’m telling you. Just buckets.
Part of the time I was in menopause I was married. Do you know how hard it is to handle having night sweats while sleeping with someone. There’s truly an art form to extricating yourself from the wet sheets, going to change, coming back and making a sandwich of dry towels in the bed so you can slip in and go to sleep again without changing the linens and waking the person on the other side of the bed.
Now I’m proud to say I’m “post”. Yes I’ve done the purge of the cabinet under the bathroom sink, gleefully throwing away boxes of Kotex and Tampons forever. And now is it over, you ask? Well I wish I could say that’s the case. I mean didn’t you think that menopause had a beginning and an end. I know I did.
But I can’t lie. The hot flashes still come — infrequently though. Over the more than 10 years since that first flash, I’ve tried everything from estrogen (natural and synthetic) to an exotic Peruvian herb. And I’m here to tell you that there’s only one sure remedy I’ve found for flashing. And you can take this to the bank:
- Go into the kitchen.
- Open your freezer door.
- Stick your head in (this works so much better when the freezer is on the top or side!)
- Let the cold air drift out–especially over your neck.
- Stand there until the flash passes–which is pretty quick.
- Close the freezer door and remember how that blogger over at Midlife’s A Trip was right.
If you’ve discovered another way to fight the surges of menopause, please share because a lot of our midlife sisterhood are still looking for ways to survive the heat of midlife.
Signed,
One Hot Mama – still.
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9 Responses to “In the Heat of Midlife”
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Chris
05. Sep, 2008
Haven’t gotten “there” yet, but am closer than I want to admit. We women talk vaguely about hot flashes when we’re in small groups but those of us who haven’t had them yet don’t really understand it. Now you have described the experience in such vivid detail! I guess it’s good to know what to expect, but yikes! We women really are strong and amazing.
Julie
06. Sep, 2008
Ugh, I am so sick and tired of hot flashes I could scream. The ones at night are the worst — not only do they wake you up, but it’s more of a pain to change the sheets than to just change clothes. And it drives me insane when I get a flash *right* after I get out of the shower and start getting dressed or putting on my makeup — makes me want to go back and do it all over again. After about three years of dealing with hot flashes, my doctor gave me a prescription that did help reduce their intensity, but unfortunately, it was so expensive that I only took it for two months. (My health insurance doesn’t offer prescription coverage, darn it.) So, I’m just hanging around waiting for the flashes to finally go away and hoping that when they do, my body image starts creeping its way out of the gutter. Its hard to feel attractive for your husband when you’re sweating like a pig!
Celeste
06. Sep, 2008
Karen:
Thank you as always for sharing your experiences with menopause because as I have told you before, I had an extreme case of the CRAZZZZZIES. Thank the good Lord I am through this phase. I am post menopausal and feel like I am 21 again. Ready for the second phase of this wonderful life I have been given.
I do experience some hot flashes, but certainly (I am 51) not as I once experienced at age 45. I too had an early onset of menopause.
You have a great idea (too funny) about the “head in the freezer”. It works ! Thanks !
Your faithful reader !
Celeste
Carol
06. Sep, 2008
Hi Karen!
Love the freezer idea – although our newer fridge has the freezer at the bottom! One thing I have found that helps when I am overheating is to take the flexible ice pack I got from the chiropractor’s office and place it behind my neck. Ahhh! Works wonders.
Debbie
07. Sep, 2008
I can relate to menopause and the uncomfortable hot flashes, etc. I finally gave in and started taking a low dose of hormones (Fem hrt) and it has helped dramatically. It took about 4 to 5 weeks until I saw positive effects but now I am feeling much better. I know taking hormones is controversial but getting through the day with my sanity is important!
I would love to see how a man would react to going through what we women have to endure!
Debbie
phhhst
08. Sep, 2008
Hi, chiming in. Unfortunately, my hot flashes were 30-45 minutes long cause they were spurred by chemo. I found Eveing Primrose Oil capsules helped.
T L Thomas
08. Sep, 2008
Are you singing to the choir or what? I’ve been going through “peri-menopause” since I was 39! When I visited my doctor, she had to talk me down – no, you’re not going crazy, no, you will not burst into flames and yes, even though you don’t like the verdict, you still have to pay the copay! I will be 44 in 3 short days and have yet to burst into flames, but I agree, it’s a trip!
suburbancorrespondent
09. Sep, 2008
Freezer – got it. Thanks!
Karen
09. Sep, 2008
Chris–glad this post gave you a better idea of what to expect with hot flashes but know that I’m wishing you a flash-free menopause! I hear such an “animal” actually exists.
Julie–poor thing. It’s so not fair that your prescription coverage really doesn’t cover the meds you need. But that’s another discussion. I’m so glad you brought up about getting dressed and made up while flashing. It’s the worst!! That’s actually the time I usually resort to the freezer.
Celeste–I’m glad the freezer helped. I think I had the crazies to during menopause. It’s like an out of body experience:-)
Carol–you know I’ve been dying for a new fridge with the freezer on the bottom. Hot flashes are the main reason I sill have my traditional freezer on the top model.
Debbie–taking hormones has it’s risks but sometimes you have to weigh those against your quality of life during menopause. Someone should do a movie about a man going through the change–wouldn’t that be a hoot!
phhhst–Wow, I can’t imagine hot flashes that last that long. Mine seem like an eternity already. Glad to hear that Evening of primrose helped you. Take care of yourself.
T L –for a lot of us, perimenopause, menopause and post can eat up a big chuck of life. But it’s such a relief when you find out that it’s your body going crazy not your mind! Happy Birthday TL. Many more happy stops on your midlife trip!!
Suburbancorrespondent–let me know if it works for you.
Thanks to all of you who commented here for sharing your experiences with part of the midlife trip. It’s great to be in such nice company.
Karen