Midlife’s A Trip

Another 50-Something Birthday

Posted on 08. Jun, 2009 by Karen.

I’m having another 50-something birthday today.  58 to be exact and I have to say - glad to be here:-) I remember the days when all of my friends were young and not even aware of any age on the other side of 30. Then the years flew by and 50-something crept silently into the story of my midlife trip.

But this is a good thing. My grandmother lived to be 97.  If I’m blessed with good genes and another 40 years, I plan to live it in a way that makes me happy and gives me a chance to make a bigger difference in the world in the second half of my life than I made in the first half. The way I look at it, 50-something is actually an amazing opportunity to do more, be more and live more.

Ain’t midlife grand?

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Trader Joe’s Comes to the Little Screen

Posted on 12. Feb, 2009 by Karen.

I’m a self-confessed Trader Joe’s fan.  Who’s Trader Joe?  Well it’s not a who but a what — the laid back grocery store whose employees wear Hawaiian-print shirts, a smile and a great attitude.  But as this contraband video of my favorite store points out — no cameras allowed.  So I’m excited to bring Trader Joe’s to the little screen here at Midlife’s a Trip. If you haven’t shopped there before, it feels like the kind of store we would have loved back in the 70’s right down to the music.

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Taking an Oath with President Obama

Posted on 20. Jan, 2009 by Karen.

In a few hours Barack Obama will be sworn in as the 44th President of the United States of America.  This all takes me back to that day over 4 years ago when I was sitting in my living room watching the Democratic Convention.  I confess that I really had tuned in to watch the Jennifer Granholm, the governor of my state of Michigan who was scheduled to speak.

Before she came on, this Black man stepped to the podium and introduced himself.  I remember thinking “Barack who?” But I confess that there was something about him that in retrospect I can honestly say that he had me at “hello”.  By the end of his speech I was standing in my living room by myself — cheering like crazy.  That was the day I became an Obama supporter even though he had yet to announce his candidacy.  I went to work the next day and told everyone I had just seen the next president of the United States.  Everyone thought I was crazy.

Well as Grandma used to say “crazy like a fox”.  So today I’m thrilled to watch him take the oath of office that makes him the leader of our country and bearer of hope and change.  This is also an incredible burden.  Millions of us expect so much from him.  So President Obama, I’m taking an oath too:

I, Karen Batchelor, citizen of the United States of America and one of “we the People” hereby promise:

• Not to expect miracles as you sort through the challenges you face.
  
• To be patient.
• To be as good as citizen as I expect you to be President.
• Not to armchair quarterback every little decision you make knowing there are many steps required to put our country back together again.
• To steel myself against some tough days ahead.
• To keep as informed as I can about your strategy to bring about change and
  
• To hold onto hope and faith.
  

And this I swear.

Congratulations and God bless you President Obama!

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Bye Bye George W!

Posted on 19. Jan, 2009 by Karen.

I can’t resist. This is my farewell post to George W — maybe the only time I’ve smiled during his time in office. What about you?

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Fashion at 5

Posted on 15. Jan, 2009 by Karen.

Today it’s 5 degrees here in the frozen tundra of Michigan where I live.  Tomorrow I have a reception to attend for a friend who just got a judicial appointment.  So I was thinking what to wear.

Funny, I never used to worry because I always had just the right outfit to throw on — those nice little corporate ensembles that were hanging in the closet.  But now those outfits don’t really fit the me I’ve become as an entrepreneur career and life coach working from my home office. I mean, come on — some days I’m on the computer at 7am but not dressed until noon.  In fact, I recently found this great little bracelet I love that says:

Truly fabulous people never get dressed before lunchtime.

I digress.  The issue is what to wear tomorrow or more importantly to talk about how fricking cold it is!!!  Really, how can you be somewhat fashionable when it’s 5 degrees?  And do I care?  Yes I do because I’m up for a good heartwarming blog discussion.  So for those of you in the grip of this latest arctic blast, what’s your take on

Being cute in the cold?

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The Evolution of Midlife’s a Trip

Posted on 14. Jan, 2009 by Karen.

I’ve been blogging here at Midlife’s a Trip for over a year and a half.  When I started I didn’t know what I was doing.  The good news is that I know a little more than I did then.  Really — at midlife I find that there’s so much of technology that takes me just a little bit longer to learn than someone in their 30’s like my son.  But as my mother used to say

Persistence is the mother of invention.

You know you’re in midlife when you start quoting your mother — because you finally see and embrace at least some of her wisdom.  Blogging has led me to Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn and, more importantly to a whole new community of friends.  Sticking with blogging helped me “invent” all this for myself.

Don’t think my learning curve has ended.  Neither has yours.  That’s the beauty of midlife is that as we learn, we are constantly evolving.  And that’s what happening here on Midlife’s a Trip, the blog.  The new theme is up and over the next few days you’ll see tweaks by my web designer and friend, Tammy Pereira.

So watch the progress and give us any feedback that will make this site one you continue to enjoy.

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Frigid Lady

Posted on 13. Jan, 2009 by Karen.

No, no — not that.  I mean “frigid” as in freezing cold.  As I write this, the temperature here in Michigan is hovering around 7 degrees.  That’s just the beginning because tonight will get down to -2 and that’s without the wind chill factor which takes the temp down another 10 to 20 degrees.

Earlier this evening I went out to put out more salt and knock off the icicles hanging from my gutters.  As the temp drops, my house is feeling more and more like an igloo.  Even though the heat is on and cranked up, I  just act differently when it’s so cold outside.

I’m layered in several polarfleece sweaters with big thick wool socks on.  When I walked past the mirror a few minutes ago, my outfits just screams “bag lady”.  All evening I’ve been drinking tea which has me floating past the john every hour or so.  I think the reason I’m drinking the tea is as much for the warm cup in my hands as anything else.

And lest you think that I’m frigid AND a little nuts too, you should see my cat, Coco Puff.  She’s been glued to the heat vent for the last 3 hours.  I think she views it as her own little personal fireplace.  Every evening I pull out the bag of kitty treats and give it a little shake.  Usually Puff comes running.  Tonight though she’s a frigid kitty thinking only of one thing — her spot by the heat.

I don’t blame her though.  I’ve thought of curling up next to a heat vent myself these last few days.  You would think I’d get used to the cold.  I’ve lived in Michigan all of my life.  But there’s something about this extreme cold and my midlife perspective on winter that just doesn’t sync.

When I finish this post I’m heading to bed.  It’s the only place where I’ll really be warm.  And maybe Puff will come and sleep in her usual place next to my feet.

Here, here nice warm kitty.

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What A Midlife Crisis Feels Like

Posted on 11. Nov, 2008 by Karen.

In the next hour I will be at my aunt’s funeral.  Aunt Hazel died last Friday at 79.  And to be honest, I can’t imagine the world without her.  My earliest memories of her are of a loving woman who always said what she meant and meant what she said.  “No nonsense” was her mantra.  Good cooking and a great sense of humor were her forte.  She was part of the fabric of my life.

I talk a lot here about midlife and transformation and how this is all a bridge to the better half of life.  Most of the time that’s really what I believe.  But today, life is feeling more like a midlife crisis.  Here’s how it’s hitting me right now:

1. My aunt has died.
2. She was my mother’s younger sister–my 10 years–and my mother is still living.
3. My mother has dementia and although we’ve told her about her sister’s death, it’s hard to know how she’s taking this sad news.
4. That makes me sad.
5. I’m here in Virginia surrounded by cousins–Aunt Hazel and Mom are the last elders on this side of the family.  My mother and immediate family can’t be here so it’s just me from the Michigan contingency.
6. All the young cousins I held as babies are now grown and having families of their own.
7. My older cousin who’s 75 feels like a peer and my cousin who’s just a few years old is about to turn 60.
8. Yes I pretend sometimes that I’m only as young as I think but 60 is around the corner for me too.

Well enough from me now.  I’ve got to leave for the funeral.  You’ve got a sense of what a midlife crisis feels like to me today.

What about you?

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Ever So Fine Paul Newman Has Died

Posted on 27. Sep, 2008 by Karen.

 One of my earliest crushes was on the ever so handsome, incredibly fine actor Paul Newman.  I remember sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the television gazing into those blue eyes that looked out from many a movie.  As I got older, Paul remained one of my favorite actors.  Well, now he’s gone — dead today of lung cancer at 83 years old. 

Now only was Paul excellent at his craft of acting but he channeled his success into making an impact both on the screen and off.  His focus on making the world a better place through giving back to those less fortunate was an inspiration to so many. 

I don’t know about you but there’s something particularly sobering about the loss of yet another “senior” legend.  It’s that mortality thing.  It’s feels a little closer today.

What do you think?

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What Keeps Me Up at Night in Midlife

Posted on 18. Sep, 2008 by Karen.

One thing that went out the window when I hit midlife was a good night’s sleep.  I started midlife in the throes of an early menopause.  Sweet dreams turned into nights of swimming in my sheets with unrelenting night sweats. 

I remember waking up drenched on cold wet sheets laying next to my then husband who always seemed to sleep through it all.  Have you ever tried to dry out a bed without waking up the other person in it?  Well I’m here to tell you it takes lots of ingenuity and lots of towels. 

But even after the night sweats passed I still never went back to a good night’s sleep.  Want someone to talk to at 2am.  Just call me.  It feels like I’ve been up for 10 years as my physical “awakenings” were replaced by the issues of midlife that swirl around my daytime thoughts and haunt my subconscious at night.  I “night-think” (day-dreaming in the dark) about:

• Whether I’ll ever be able to retire
• Whether I even want to
• My best friend who has Alzheimer’s
• My mother who has dementia
• Will I stay in Michigan where I live now
• Will I find my soul mate
• Money
• The economy (I’m surprised if anyone can sleep this week!)
• The outcome of the presidential election 
• Will I stay healthy and yes, occasionally
• What I’ll blog about the next day.

The transitions of midlife bring so many opportunities for rediscovery, reinvention and renewal that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to dream, plan and process.  But I realize, I’m not the only one up at 2am.

What keeps you up at night in midlife?

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Text Generation Gap: U R 2 Old

Posted on 10. Mar, 2008 by Karen.

yt.  In the language of text messaging, that means “are you there”.  Maybe because my son is a 30-something, I missed the advent of text messaging in the parental relationship.  So I didn’t have to learn text or remotely figure it out.  But now I have friends who sometimes text me.  To say, I’m clueless on what these little acronyms mean is an understatement. 

Until now I’ve always just rme (rolled my eyes) about the issue.  But when I read the scary statistic in yesterday’s New York Times article on the Text Generation Gap: U R 2 Old  that ”by 2010, 81 percent of Americans ages 5 to 24 will own a cellphone”, I thought em? (excuse me?).  Text messages from my 4 year old niece could be just around the corner.

So I was grateful for the article’s primer on text acronyms, some of which you see me trying to use in this post.  imo (in my opinion) you have to start somewhere.  Check out the NYT article to see if u r 2 old to text. 

b4n (bye for now).

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Midlife Moment — Reading Glasses A Must

Posted on 14. Jan, 2008 by Karen.

This is the first in my series of Midlife Moments.  Midlife moments are just those quirky odd little experiences that are unique to this time of life.  If you have a moment you’d like to share that’ll make us all either laugh or appreciate the little glitches in the journey through midlife, please post a comment.  And now for my midlife moment #1: 

Yesterday morning I got up and headed half awake into the bathroom to wash my face.  A glance in the mirror at my “morning face” without make-up convinced me that I should some astringent–thought it might my skin look tighter or something.  So I opened the cabinet under the sink, spotted the bottle of blue-green astringent and pulled it out.   I dabbed a little on with a cotton wipe and headed downstairs to make coffee.

Fifteen minutes or so later I went back up to the bathroom–now with my reading glasses on.  I glanced at the bottle of astringent I’d left on the counter and realized with horror that it was, in fact, the new aloe scented blue-green nail polish remover I’d bought recently, largely because it didn’t smell like nail polish remover.  As the realization hit that I had just wiped nail polish remover all over my face, I turned on the water and plunged face first into the sink hoping to avert whatever awful reaction to the nail polish remover I was starting to dream up. 

Well everything turned out OK.  Instead of breaking out in hives, I broke out in laughter on the lesson learned about the times when reading glasses are a must.  So, for starters, if I want to really see what I need to see, I’ll always use my reading glasses to:

• Read the label on anything under the sink
• Shop for anything
• Put on make-up
• Read a menu or
• Determine whether the spot on the wall is a spider or not.

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It Felt Like Midlife Crisis Today

Posted on 02. Nov, 2007 by Karen.

This morning when I turned on my laptop, I had an email from late last night with news that a dear friend died yesterday.  The loss hit me like a ton of bricks.  Margaret was this amazing woman who just had her 89th birthday in October.  I just saw her in the last month or so and she looked wonderful.  Well, maybe a little more frail but I think in my heart I chose to ignore that.

Margaret was my first intergenerational friend.  I’d known her most of my life but it wasn’t until I was 25 years old that we became friends when she helped me out on a research project.  At the time I didn’t know what I was doing and in her gentle way, Margaret shifted me to another path where I ended up having great success.  That’s how she was with her mentoring and friendship–the master of gentle suggestion to do something differently.  We all listened and we all benefited.

As I got to know Margaret as a friend and not just someone my parents knew, I realized how very lucky I was that this kind, smart, charming woman took an interest in my life.  Recently there was a tribute to her and I was asked to speak.  I am so grateful now that I had the opportunity to tell her before she died how blessed I was to have her friendship over the last 30 years. 

So as I sit here and feel the sorrow, I think about how Margaret is in heaven gently shifting me to a path where I can move past the sorrow towards the wonderful memories I have of times we spent together.  One day soon I’ll get there but the loss of my friend makes today feel like a midlife crisis.

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