Archive for 'Inspiration'
Life Lessons From An Old Dog
Posted on 11. Feb, 2009 by Karen.
Meet Stump, a 10-year old dog which is about 70 canine years. But not just any old dog because this exceptionally persuasive Sussex spaniel got the judges at the prestigious Westminster Kennel Club Show to pick him as the winner over all the young pups prancing around the ring. And he’s the first in his breed ever to win the Westminster. Stump is now “top dog” worldwide. You go Stump!
Stump had been in retirement before the show and almost died a few years back from some mysterious illness. But with more spunk left than anyone, including his owner, could have imagined, Stump showed the world that he could still strut his stuff. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?
Or better yet, who defines what old is? Think there’s a lesson here. Even a dog can figure out that you’re only as old as you think you are. So think young.
Thanks Stumps for the great life lesson and congratulations!!
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Taking an Oath with President Obama
Posted on 20. Jan, 2009 by Karen.
In a few hours Barack Obama will be sworn in as the 44th President of the United States of America. This all takes me back to that day over 4 years ago when I was sitting in my living room watching the Democratic Convention. I confess that I really had tuned in to watch the Jennifer Granholm, the governor of my state of Michigan who was scheduled to speak.
Before she came on, this Black man stepped to the podium and introduced himself. I remember thinking “Barack who?” But I confess that there was something about him that in retrospect I can honestly say that he had me at “hello”. By the end of his speech I was standing in my living room by myself — cheering like crazy. That was the day I became an Obama supporter even though he had yet to announce his candidacy. I went to work the next day and told everyone I had just seen the next president of the United States. Everyone thought I was crazy.
Well as Grandma used to say “crazy like a fox”. So today I’m thrilled to watch him take the oath of office that makes him the leader of our country and bearer of hope and change. This is also an incredible burden. Millions of us expect so much from him. So President Obama, I’m taking an oath too:
I, Karen Batchelor, citizen of the United States of America and one of “we the People” hereby promise:
- Not to expect miracles as you sort through the challenges you face.
- To be patient.
- To be as good as citizen as I expect you to be President.
- Not to armchair quarterback every little decision you make knowing there are many steps required to put our country back together again.
- To steel myself against some tough days ahead.
- To keep as informed as I can about your strategy to bring about change and
- To hold onto hope and faith.
And this I swear.
Congratulations and God bless you President Obama!
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I Have a Dream
Posted on 18. Jan, 2009 by Karen.
On June 23, 1963, a skinny young African American girl with long braids and blue cat-eye glasses joined her family at a civil rights event in Detroit. Thousands of people participated in the “Great March in Detroit”.
As they walked down Woodward Avenue, the young girl was excited to get to the end of the march because her father had promised a dinner at her favorite Chinese restaurant. What she couldn’t have known is that the end of the march would bring something far greater than a meal.
When they got to the convention center in downtown Detroit, a man got up to speak to the crowd. He spoke of having a dream. The young girl didn’t understand everything the man was saying. But she knew she was in the presence of greatness. The man was the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. and, as you might have guessed by now, the young girl was me.
Two months later on August 28, 1963, Dr. King gave the same speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. A quarter of million supporters of the civil rights movement gathered to hear what became known as Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech. It became and still is famous around the world.
As we celebrate the federal holiday and anniversary of Dr. King’s birth today, followed by the inauguration of Barack Obama as President of United States tomorrow, I felt compelled to listen to Dr. King’s words again. They move me now more than ever.
If you’ve never heard the speech before, here’s Dr. King:
Free at last
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Age is But a Number
Posted on 04. Jan, 2009 by Karen.
Yesterday evening my sister and I took my mom to visit her best friend of 40 years. Mom is 89 and her friend is 80. It’s so good to see how the strong bond with have with girlfriends survives the test of time. While we were there another old friend from their crowd stopped by.
“Tal”, short for Natalia, is this amazing woman who’s been a role model all my life. She’s a respected pediatrician who still practices and has probably cared for 3 generations of children in some families. Caregiver to her ailing husband, Tal still finds time between work and home to be active in civic clubs she’s belonged to for decades. As we stood around yesterday, she was slim and fashionable in a black jumpsuit, make-up just so and a darling little cut that accents the salt and pepper in her hair.
If you met Tal, you’d think “what a lovely 70-something”. It would be indelicate to ask her age, but this woman who stills skis and plays a mean game of golf is pushing 90 if she’s not already there. Being around Tal yesterday reminded me in a huge way that age is but a number.
So as I start 2009, I’m adopting a different mindset about aging. The birthdays may tick by but who’s counting? Instead I’m adopting the “live life full out” plan that Tal obviously has perfected.
Want to join me?
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New Year’s Resolutions and Champagne
Posted on 01. Jan, 2009 by Karen.
Happy New Year everyone!! On this first day of 2009 that started with the popping cork of a favorite champagne, I’m inspired by more than the bubbles. Did you know that champagne as we know it today was created by a woman! She was Madame Barbe-Nicole Clicquot Ponsardin or better know as “la Veuve (widow) Clicquot” which, by the way, is the name of my absolutely very favorite champagne.
Madame Clicquot grew up during the French Revolution. She was widowed in her 20s when her winemaker husband died of typhoid. Despite the odds of being alone and a single parent, la Veuve grew the family business into an empire and became a world renowned entrepreneur at a time when women were not typically welcomed in the business world. Demand for her champagne spread across Europe like wildfire and at one point la Veuve made the equivalent of $1 million on a single shipment of her famous product.
The story of la Veuve’s life and how she made a fortune perfecting the process of making tiny bubbles is chronicled in a recent book by Tilar J. Mazzeo. As I read the book, it seems that la Veuve’s success was less about champagne and more about her mindset. Her philosophy was that:
The world is in perpetual motion, and we must invent the things of tomorrow. On must go before others, be determined and exacting, and let your intelligence direct your life. Act with audacity.
So what does it mean to be audacious? It means to act with courage, bravery, nerve — that thing the old folks called “guts”. So as I launch into 2009, I’m following la Veuve’s recipe for success and approaching my goals with audacity.
Let’s all be audacious this year!
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It’s Not Just Friday
Posted on 05. Dec, 2008 by Karen.
Today isn’t just Friday. So as not to get hung up in the fact that another week has ended, I’ve decided to celebrate the rest of my life with this wonderful video. As you celebrate your weekend, don’t forget the great next week that lies ahead.
Here’s to TGITROML — Thank God it’s the rest of my life!
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What’s Your Color Today?
Posted on 03. Dec, 2008 by Karen.
Oh I’m not talking about the color of your skin. I’m talking about what color appeals to you today. As I write this I’m looking out on a gray Michigan day–one of many I’ll see over the next 4-5 months. My garden that was so brightly colored this summer has toned down to faded shades of brown and green, soon to covered over with snow.
So despite the absence of color in my outside world, I feel brightly colored. Today I’m feeling hope and peace. Harmony and balance is coming into my life. I’m living in the spirit of renewal because:
Today I am green.
What color are you?
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Peanut on Obama
Posted on 06. Nov, 2008 by Karen.
On election night we all gathered over at my sister’s to watch the poll results come in. My 4 year old niece, the “Peanut” was thrilled with the company, the festive atmosphere and the party spread of food. Oh — and the fact that she was allowed to stay up long past her bedtime.
You see, my sister and I remembered that night in our childhood when our parents let us stay up all night to watch John F. Kennedy become president. Funny, we’ve talked about that night often lately. It’s etched on our memories.
We wanted Peanut to have the same special memories of Obama being elected president. Even though the results weren’t in yet when we gathered together, we all sensed it was just a matter of time. And Peanut had to be part of it.
Shortly before Obama’s victory was announced, I was in the kitchen with Peanut explaining to her why this was all so important. As I tried to set the stage for her in a way a four year old could comprehend, I gave her a short list of the reasons that Obama was the man we all wanted to see elected. I ended with telling her that it was also very exciting that he would be the first Black man ever to be elected President of the United States.
Peanut smiled at that point in an indulgent and patient way. She tilted her head, threw up her hands in slight exasperation with me and said:
Ti-Ti (that’s what she calls me), Barack Obama isn’t black — he’s brown!
I had to laugh!! Peanut gets it. Color is just color. It’s not what defines you or makes you qualified or not for any job — even president. Yet another life lesson from Peanut –
Out of the mouth of babes.
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Obama Wins — Oh Happy Day!
Posted on 05. Nov, 2008 by Karen.
This music video sums up the joy I feel over Barack Obama’s election as President of the United States of America. Enjoy the song and savor this historic moment!
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The One Vote Barack Obama Won’t Get
Posted on 03. Nov, 2008 by Karen.
I’m here to report that there’s one vote Barack Obama won’t get in this historic presidential election — my 89 year old mother’s. But don’t get excited John McCain. This isn’t a vote for you. You see, Mom’s not voting for Senator Obama simply because she can no longer understand what the voting process is all about. The dementia she has suffered from for years has robbed her of the ability to make an informed decision in this election. Mom would be devastated if she knew.
But she doesn’t. I had a conversation with her this past weekend to see if there was any hope of her being able to exercise her voting rights. When I asked her if she knew who was running for president — she didn’t. When I explained about the candidates, as objectively as possible, and asked Mom if she had an opinion on who she’d vote for — she didn’t. And when I asked her if she wanted me to get more information for her — she didn’t. At that point, I watched her retreat into the cave of her dementia; that place where she doesn’t have to face the fact that she can no longer make important decisions like the one that will be made tomorrow.
If she were able, I know in my heart that my mother would be honored to have the opportunity to vote for Senator Obama. There are many other seniors like my mother who are unable to vote for him tomorrow, though, for reasons beyond their control. Let’s not forget them. We stand on their shoulders — their efforts through the years form the foundation for the choices we have this Election Day.
So in honor of the choice Mom would make if she could, I’m dedicating my service as a legal monitor at the polls tomorrow to her. If there’s an senior in your life whose mental and physical disabilities keep them from voting –
What can you do to honor them on Election Day?
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In Memory of Dad — Notes of Hope and Change
Posted on 23. Oct, 2008 by Karen.
This week marks the 6th anniversary of my father’s death. Dad was a true Renaissance man — a dedicated physician, an accomplished artist, mentor to many and hero to me. He was the grandson of a slave and the slaveowner’s son and son of a domestic servant and a sharecropper turned factory worker. Despite his humble beginnings, Dad excelled in school because back then, that was the only way a young “colored” guy could remotely get ahead.
Dad injured his leg as a child and had to spend a year in a convalescent home. Despite this, he graduated near the top of his class from undergrad. Although he was positioned to go to medical school, back then they only took 2 Blacks in a class. So he waited for a spot for a year, earning his Master’s along the way.
In his senior year of med school, Dad’s leg was re-injured in the 1943 race riots in Detroit. Faced with another year in a convalescent home, he said “the hell with it” and let them amputate his leg at the knee. Despite THIS, he graduated first in his class — a fact he never knew until he retired 54 years later. The only thing we can figure is that it just wasn’t seemly to have a young Black man as valedictorian so grades weren’t posted the year he graduated.
Dad went on to a wonderful practice based more on service than on monetary gain. And as he grew his practice, he and my mother nurtured and grew 3 children — I was the oldest. Lest you think Dad was an egghead, that was just the tip of the iceberg of the man he was. He had a smile that was infectious, a million freckles, a sense of humor that had us laughing to the point of tears on many occasions. And so many people loved him for the caring and supportive way he showed up in the world — always.
As I grew older, Dad became my trusted advisor, my sounding board for what was supposed to be right in life. He was an amazing man who lived to be 83 years old. If he were here today and I were to tell him that a young Black man — another Renaissance man — was running for president of the United States, he would not be surprised. He always believed in the possibility that this country could rise above the heavy burden left by our history of racism. Because despite all, Dad was a man who believed in a world made better by hope and change.
I know he would have loved and been uplifted by the incredible music that has come out of this presidential campaign. So in search of a positive note this week (instead of too many tears), I found and posted here some of the music videos showcasing the talent and positive energy Dad would have admired and enjoyed. I hope you enjoy it too.
I love you Dad.
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Podcast with Author and Alzheimer’s Caregiver Mary Ellen Geist
Posted on 20. Oct, 2008 by Karen.
I’ve graduated from just blogging (well it’s never really “just”, is it) to my first podcast interview with author Mary Ellen Geist who left her successful career to come home to Michigan to take a new job as caregiver to her father, Woody who is a victim of Alzheimer’s. Talking with Mary Ellen was like connecting with a soul sister. We both have parents with dementia, both are from Michigan and both are in midlife.
Hearing about Mary Ellen’s midlife transition — can we ever really call these things a crisis — was amazing especially since she decided to share her experience in her new book Measures of the Heart – A Father’s Alzheimer’s, A Daugher’s Return. It a wonderful story that had me smiling in some chapters and crying in others. I hope you’ll add this to your book list for a long winter’s night (at least here in Michigan).
Do you have a special story to share about care-giving?
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Manifesting Peanut — A Midlife Adoption Tale
Posted on 17. Oct, 2008 by Karen.
Once upon a time, there was a woman who wanted to be a mother more than anything. But she never found the right man and had no luck with the scientific alternatives. Finally, she decided to adopt despite the overwhelming odds of being single, a minority, having limited resources and family who tried to talk her out of taking this step at 48 years old. We call this woman “Meno Mom” and she is my younger sister.
Meno Mom is one of a growing number of women in midlife who have 17 minutes left on their biological clock but aren’t willing to miss out on the experience of motherhood. Getting pregnant versus adoption is one of the initial hurdles. Liz over at Inventing My Life , who’s doing a special series on her midlife adoption journey at Midlifebloggers realized:
There are no guarantees in life about anything. Especially given my age, there were all sorts of risks involved with trying to get pregnant. I started to think it was a miracle that any healthy and intelligent babies are born at all! Not to mention the fact that my “pretty good genes” would only be half of the genetic material. I began to realize that ending up with a child who didn’t get a perfect score on the SATs was not the worst thing that could happen. And given a choice between an uncertain outcome from a bunch of icky medical procedures and a slightly less uncertain outcome from a long and expensive but not physically icky process, I chose adoption.
Like Meno Mom and Liz, would-be midlife mommies are looking at motherhood from a different perspective than in their younger years when adoption probably wouldn’t have been a consideration. Now they want the quickest and shortest path to their goal.
As she did adoption prep, Meno Mom also handled a significant share of the care-giving for our mother who has dementia. We had a caregiver during the day, but evening duty was done by my sister who lived the closest. I don’t think either one of us realized that Meno Mom was in dress rehearsal for her new role as a member of the sandwich generation. Sandra who writes on older parent adoption issues at Adoption Blogs describes the “sandwichers”:
Older adoptive parents; you know the ones — little kids on one side, aging parents on the other, you in the middle trying to see to it that both are cared for properly, have all the attention they need, their medical issues attended to, their futures as bright and healthy as possible.
Although Meno Mom handled the ups and downs of the adoption process well, she did hit a roadblock. Because she was adopting domestically where the birth mother picks the new parent, the agency asked Meno Mom to create a scrapbook with photos and stories about her and our family.
Meno Mom froze. Even though she’s a gifted artist, this ”pick-me, pick-me” step made her feel like she was in some kind of beauty contest she couldn’t win. Her confidence sank and her dream started to unravel. Liz over at Inventing My Life talks about this uncomfortable phase of the adoption process as well as anyone:
Here are the many ways that I have been thinking that other people are better than me, especially in terms of being ready to adopt:
- Other people have more money than I do
- Other people have husbands
- Other people live in better houses than I do
- Other people live in better neighborhoods than I do
- Other people have more friends than I do
- Other people have better jobs than I do
- Other people are more politically active than I am
- Other people have cooler stuff on their blogs than I do
Up until now, I was pretty much a casual bystander as Meno Mom jumped the adoption hurdles. But when she became deflated and unsure as she compared herself to ”other people”, I stepped in with some advice that came to me out of the clear blue:
You have to put it out into the Universe that your baby is waiting for you. The only thing standing in the way is the scrapbook. So change your thoughts, manifest your daughter and let’s get this book done!
Now I didn’t know anything then about the law of attraction or ”manifesting” your dreams. But intuitively I did know that my niece was out there waiting. So stepping out on faith, my sister and I visited scrapbook stores over the next three weeks and sorted through old family photos. We even bought gifts for the baby — Meno Mom bought little shoes and I bought a pink onesie with some saying about cute aunties.
Finally Meno Mom finished the scrapbook. It was an amazing creation by an amazing woman. The next morning, she put the book in the mail. What happened next is still hard for me to believe.
Later than afternoon her cell phone rang. When she saw the adoption agency number, she knew they were calling about the scrapbook. She stepped out of a meeting to whisper that the book was on the way and ask if she could call them back. It was then that the voice on the other end of the line said:
No — we have your daughter!
Only that morning a young woman the agency had never met walked in, gave her 4-week old daughter up for adoption and selected Meno Mom as the adoptive parent. Of course, all this without the help of the scrapbook because it was in the mail! Five days later, Meno Mom and my niece, the “Peanut”, were a family.
I suppose there are any number of explanations for what happened that day. But the one that resonates with me is that it was the law of attraction in action that allowed a midlife woman to turn her dreams of motherhood into reality.
What do you think?
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