Midlife’s A Trip

The Coach’s Coach — From Doormat to Diva

Posted on 04. May, 2008 by Karen.

One of the major stops on my midlife trip has been becoming a professional life coach. Yes I know, some of you are wondering what the heck that is.

Well, a life coach helps you turn your dreams into reality — basically get from where you are to where you want to be. An amazing part of my learning to be a coach was finding my own coach — the remarkable Merci Miglino!

Merci’s unique coaching style of humor, wisdom and enthusiasm kept me on target to getting my coaching certification. More importantly, though, she was one of my biggest cheerleaders as I discovered and embraced the “real” me or as Merci puts it:

The Karen-est Karen I can be!!

Now I could go on and on about how Merci has helped me establish a practice where I coach others like me on the midlife trip. But why not just let you see Merci in action. So if you can use a little fun and inspiration in your Sunday, take 10 minutes to watch Merci in “From Doormat to Diva”:

Thank you Merci.

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Presto! How to Email a Non-Techie

Posted on 30. Apr, 2008 by Karen.

How many of you have parents or grandparents who just don’t, won’t or can’t learn the computer technology needed to connect them to email? Well HP, the tech giant has solved the problem with creation of the HP Printing Mailbox. It works with a service called Presto and allows you to send email, documents and photos from your camera and cellphone to a loved one who doesn’t do email.

Whatever you send comes out of the HP Mailbox at a scheduled time in a single sheet ready for the recipient to pick-up and read. Here’s a recent testimonial:

It is a remarkable product that lets anyone receive email and attached photos, or PDF documents without the hassle and expense of a computer or Internet connection. It’s easy to set up and simple to use. All you need is an existing phone line and electrical outlet. Now our whole family can send Mom email and photos that are transformed into beautiful, full-color printouts. Messages are printed automatically, so all she has to do is pick them up off of the Printing Mailbox, read and enjoy!

It sounds so user-friendly I almost want one myself. You can even subscribe to a variety of magazine articles at no extra charge that will be delivered at the specified time you program into the mailbox. And there’s not a lot of maintenance involved beyond the periodic ink cartridge and paper.

This could be a great gift for seniors or anyone else who’s a non-techie that you want to stay in touch with. The mailbox itself is around $150 and the Presto service about $10/month. Although this isn’t cheap, it’s a thoughtful gift from a tech-savvy family to a loved one. And consider that as Mother’s and Father’s Days roll around, this might be the gift the whole family can chip in on to bring a smile every day to the non-techie they love.

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In Celebration of My 100th Blog Post

Posted on 01. Apr, 2008 by Karen.

Last week I did my 100^thposting here on Midlife’s A Trip.  Although this milestone slipped my mind for a few days, I realized that I should really celebrate the fact that I stuck with my new skill of blogging and didn’t give up putting my thoughts on the written page.  But instead of writing something deep and meaningful in honor of this auspicious occasion, I thought it’d be fun to just tell you a few more things about me—how about 100 J

1. My favorite holiday is Christmas.
2. My birthday is June 8^th.
3. I am the oldest child of 3 children in my family.
4. I tell everyone that my sister is the oldest. (more…)

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Meditation Can Lower Blood Pressure

Posted on 17. Mar, 2008 by Karen.

I am the daughter of a woman who did Transcendental Meditation in the early 60’s.  TM is what it was called.  My brother, sister and I—we just called it weird.

Mom would carve out her meditation time each day and we were warned not to disturb her.  While she meditated, there was a lot of eye-rolling going on in the room where we sat whispering about this latest of our mother’s eccentricities.  I don’t think we ever understood what meditation did for her.

Now Mom is 88 years old.  Although she has severe dementia, she’s in good physical health otherwise.  Did her years of doing TM have some positive impact on her health?  Who knows but be inspired by this recent article about studies that show meditation can lower blood pressure .

As for me, I’ve become my mother’s daughter.  I just meditated before I sat down to write this post.  I believe that there are health benefits from meditation and my blood pressure is textbook normal.  And in keeping with family tradition—yes my son thinks I weird because I meditate.  But he’ll get it one day.

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Mom, Dementia and Me — More Moments of Decline

Posted on 16. Mar, 2008 by Karen.

I had a sad visit with my mother today at her assisted living facility for dementia patients.  When I got there everyone was in a circle the common area for some activity.  My mother was in the circle but asleep and looking unkempt.  I woke her gently and she started talking about something I couldn’t make sense of.  But it seemed like she was embarrassed about being asleep.  I told her it was OK, she didn’t have to explain anything to me.

I asked Mom if she was hungry.  She said she was and it turned out that she had slept through lunch.  I know you’re thinking where are the people who run her facility.  But on a Sunday afternoon, the people in charge aren’t there–just the really nice, underpaid and overworked caregivers.  So with their help, Mom got her lunch and I sat with her and Mona, another resident who had slept through lunch too.

As Mom and Mona ate their meals, I marveled at these two women who were both well educated, beautiful and poised in their day.  Now there was little evidence of their wit and charm as they ate in silence and stayed in their caves.  What caves you ask?

I’ve written on this before but I’ll explain it again because it helps me remember what’s going on here.  Having dementia, Alzheimer’s or not, is like being in a cave.  In the early stages of the disease, someone with dementia can come in and out of the cave at will. 

As the disease progresses, a dementia patient sits further and further back in the cave.  Sometimes they come to the opening and interact with those of us outside.  Then increasingly they stay far back in the cave and don’t come to the opening.  Today Mom was pretty far back in the cave.   

After lunch, I took Mom to her room to rest.  She was asleep within minutes.  I puttered around in her room for awhile and then got ready to leave.  I leaned down to gently kiss my mother’s forehead.  She woke as she felt my kiss and smiled with a loving look.  I could tell she had come to the opening of the cave.  And then she said “good-bye”. 

My heart stuck in my throat because for a minute I had the feeling she was saying goodbye for good.  I don’t know where that came from but it shook me.  I leaned down again and gave her a big hug and hung onto her as I wish I could do forever.

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A Midlife Cat Tale: Part 2

Posted on 15. Mar, 2008 by Karen.

My cats Bijou and Puff said the way to end this week of bizarre politics, economy and weather is to focus on a really important issue. Cats. Here’s a video that gives their perspective.

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The Thursday Night Un-Book Club

Posted on 14. Mar, 2008 by Karen.

Last night was my un-book club meeting.  We’re kind of like a book club in that we’re 9 women who meet monthly and spend the evening together.  But the purpose of our group is not reading books.  Instead, we focus on the wonderful energy between us that leads us to discussions on everything from the law of attraction to meditation to life problems. 

We initially came together to watch the movie ”The Secret”.  Our first gathering resulted from a few friends telling a few other friends about the opportunity.  At our next gathering, there were a few new faces and this is the group that has been meeting ever since. Someone observed last night that it hasn’t been made clear to us yet why we were brought together.  Well I have a clue.

The un-book club isn’t an homogeneous group.  Or at least we weren’t when we first got together.  But now things have changed.  We’ve discovered common goals.  We support one another.  We care.

This past weekend I watched the Jane Austen Book Club and thought how our un-book club doesn’t have a name yet.  Sam, 11 year old son of one of the un-book club members, calls us the “tribe”.  Out of curiosity, I checked out the dictionary definition:

tribe n. clan, family , group, ethnic group, race, kin, stock, *blood brothers, dynasty, community.

As I think of how we are growing closer, I believe you could describe us as a family of sorts, definitely a group and most clearly a community.  Maybe Sam has us pegged right–the Thursday night tribe.

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A Girl’s Best Friend

Posted on 11. Mar, 2008 by Karen.

You know the old saying that “man’s best friend is his dog”.  Well check out a funny but thoughtful perspective on a girl’s best friend by Michael Moniz at Living Life Out Loud .

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Alzheimer and Friendship

Posted on 26. Feb, 2008 by Karen.

For those of you who read this blog, you know that I write often about my 88 year old mother who has dementia, likely a combination of vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s.  What you may not realize is that behind the scenes of “Mom, Dementia and Me” is another story–one that I haven’t had the heart to write about. 

I used to think that Alzheimer’s was a condition that only affected seniors, not those of us in midlife.  That is until my best friend of 50 years was diagnosed with this disease several years ago.  She was only 54 years old at the time. 

Although I noticed signs of her declining memory, I remember thinking that ”this” must be something else.  I remember praying that my friend only had menopause “brain fog” or some thyroid condition or anything else that might explain why she couldn’t remember the little things in life.  And I remember praying for a miracle.

Well, you never know what shape a miracle might take.  Although my friend has Alzheimer’s, she is on medications that are slowing the progression of this disease.  She has a wonderful husband who loves her dearly and does everything he can to give her a supportive and beautiful lifestyle.  And she and I have a friendship that continues strong through whatever life throws at us–even Alzheimer’s.

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A New Look at Midlife’s A Trip!

Posted on 21. Jan, 2008 by Karen.

Today I uploaded the new custom header for Midlife’s A Trip.  I owe many thanks to my incredibly talented sister Paula who designed this and fit my many revisions into her already crammed life as a working midlife mom of a 3 year old daughter. 

And many thanks to my equally talented son Chip who put up with my repeated requests to upload a user-friendly Wordpress theme.  When you’re an IT professional like Chip, the entire family bugs you about computer and online issues.  Like Paula, Chip squeezed me in between his family and work obligations.

It just goes to show you what we can accomplish in midlife with a little help from family and friends.   

Chip and Paula–I love you both!!

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Roquamole–The New Friendship Food

Posted on 29. Dec, 2007 by Karen.

For Christmas I bought myself Nigella Express, the new cookbook by food diva Nigella Lawson.  As I sat one evening reading and savoring the recipes, I came across one that demanded immediate attention.  It’s called Roquamole. 

Roquamole is this incredible creative blend of avocado and Roquefort cheese.  If each of these two foods appeal to you individually, then you’ll love this dish.  Just mix together these ingredients and serve with blue corn tortilla chips:

1 cup crumbled Roquefort

1/4 cup sour cream

2 ripe avocados mashed

1/4 cup sliced pickled green jalapenos coarsely chopped

2 T finely sliced scallions

1/4 t paprika

Now the only problem I found with this dish was getting it out of my kitchen.  I warn you that tasting is dangerous because you won’t be able to stop.  But if you heed my warning, then you can share it with a friend, which is exactly what I did.

Joyce, my best friend of fifty years, was in town for the holidays.  We got together on a cold winter afternoon this week and shared old stories, Rocquamole and a great bottle of Chateau Peyre-Lebade.  It was one of the best times I had this holiday season.  Thanks Nigella for giving me a great new friendship dish.  This is a keeper.

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Christmas Dinner–A Bittersweet Meal

Posted on 26. Dec, 2007 by Karen.

I had Christmas dinner with a very special family.  It was their first Christmas without their adored Leah– wife, mother, daughter, cousin, daughter-in-law and friend.  Leah died of cancer in May.  She was only 41 years old and left her dear husband, Stephan and beautiful 3 year old son Zion behind. 

A host of family and friends gathered to share Christmas dinner with Stephan and Zion.  There was great food, laughter and good cheer.  But there was also the pall of sadness as Stephan led grace and made note of Leah’s absence.  Of course we all felt it and Stephan’s sadness.  It made me especially grateful for my family who are still with me.

As we circled around this special family at this bittersweet dinner and celebrated the birth of Christ and the passing of Leah, I too remembered loved ones who are gone–Dad, Grandma, Aunt Mary, Uncle Willie, Uncle Scotty and Margaret.  And as we celebrate this holiday season, know that you are always in my heart.  

Merry Christmas to you.  Merry Christmas to everyone. 

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My Son’s Wedding Anniversary

Posted on 14. Dec, 2007 by Karen.

Today is my son’s Chip’s 6th wedding anniversary.  He and my lovely daughter-in-law Kim were college sweethearts.  But can it really be six years since they tied the knot in Las Vegas?  They had planned a wedding back at home but a family illness necessitated a delay.  So they started making other plans. 

When my son told me that they planned to elope to Vegas, I told him what a wonderful idea.  Chip was a little taken aback when I said I was eloping with them.  But he didn’t really put up a fuss when I explained that there was no way I was missing the wedding of my only child.  Kim’s father decided to join the wedding party too and we all headed out to Vegas to the Little White Wedding Chapel for the ceremony.

It was pouring rain as we left the hotel for the chapel.  But you should have heard the oohs and ahs as people commented on what a beautiful couple.  And indeed they were.  During the ceremony, I stood there as my only child got married.  I had a smile on my face, tears in my eyes and love in my heart.  I remember thinking of my son as the curly-headed little toddler he once was–smiling his amazing and ever-present big grin.  And I watched him smile it that rainy day in Vegas as he married the girl of his dreams.

Now six years later, my son and daughter-in-law have had all the ups and downs that young couples have.  But their relationship is strong and today they celebrate that.  And I do too.  Chip and Kim–I’m wishing you much love and happiness today and in the years to come. 

P.S.  And there’s no pressure from me on the issue of grandchildren :-)

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