Being Big Sister
October 30, 2008
This week I had to pull rank on my sister. She’s the one I refer to as “Meno Mom”, the mother of the now infamous Peanut, my 4 year old niece. Meno Mom has become a wonderful caregiver in midlife. She’s a single mom raising the Peanut and is infinitely patient and loving with my mother who has severe dementia. And, the truth be known, Meno Mom is the best sister anyone could have. I am blessed.
Now lest you think we’re Stepford sisters, we’re not. We disagree and even argue vehemently from time to time. We gossip. We tussle over Ben and Jerry’s Heath Bar Crunch ice cream and cry together during Extreme Home Makeover on Sunday nights. And we are always there for one another.
Last week though, Meno Mom was sick as a dog. She and Peanut both had colds. Meno Mom took great care of my niece but not herself. Then last Saturday, she casually mentioned to me on the phone that she almost passed out at Peanut’s Karate tournament.
What Meno Mom didn’t know and should never forget is that big sisters constantly worry about their little sisters. Yes, you heard it here. She’s the youngest even though I always tell people it’s the other way around (not that they believe me, mind you). But little sisters never get too old for big sister concern. So when Meno Mom had to go to ER yesterday because of shortness of breath, I was extremely concerned although I had to hide it because Peanut was with me.
Long story short–Meno Mom has viral bronchitis. She is now under strict orders from doctor and friends to stay home. And I, with my traditional big sisterly charm, threatened her with bodily harm if she didn’t take care of herself and get well. Because you see, being big sister never ends — no matter how old we get.
What’s your experience?
The Path to Peace in Midlife
October 15, 2008
As you can see from yesterday’s posts, I’ve been pretty stressed out about the tone and tenor of the presidential campaign lately. But today is a new day and I got to thinking it should be more about peace. For me peacefulness comes with meditation.
I learned about meditation early in life. Although my sister and I often laugh that our parents were like the Black “Ozzie and Harriet”, that’s not entirely accurate. You see my mother did transcendental meditation in the 60s and 70s. Every day, twice a day, Mom would go in the bedroom, close out the world–which meant us 3 kids, my dad, the dog, the incessant ringing of the phone, everything–for 30 minutes of TM.
We used to roll our eyes–that was big in our family–at my mother’s seeming eccentricity and commitment to something viewed as part of the “hippie” culture of the times. But as I’ve gotten older, I realize Mom was so far ahead of the times and of us, with her focus on creating peace in the midst of the chaos that was then her midlife.
As often occurs lately, I see my mother in me. My face is hers, her hand now comes out of the sleeve as I put on my coat and I too have found that the path to peace in midlife is through meditation. There are many health benefits to meditation including lower blood pressure, reduced stress and enhanced immune system. But it just makes me feel better.
My goal is to meditate first thing in the morning for 20 minutes. I like using music or a guided meditation. When I don’t meditate, by mid-afternoon I can feel myself surrendering to whatever issue is swirling around me on any given day.
If you haven’t tried meditation, it’s easy to get started. First you can sit in a quiet place, close your eyes and just focus on your breathing to calm you. Or if you prefer a more interactive approach, try a guided and very zen meditation like this video:
Can you use a little peace in your day today?
Botox Chicken
September 17, 2008
I’m what you’d call a Botox chicken. It’s certainly not because I lack vanity. I want to fight off the wrinkles as much as anyone else. And although it’s a factor, it’s not just that I hate needles, which I do –intensely. But even from the person who still can’t watch her blood being drawn, there’s more to my reluctance to try Botox than my needle-phobia.
Actually it’s that the idea of having someone inject a toxin into my body that makes me squeamish. Just read this definition of Botox and think about it for a minute:
Botulinum toxin is produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum. It grows in the absence of air and has a lethal reputation as a food contaminant, especially in improperly canned or preserved foods. It weakens muscles and can cause paralysis, including life-threatening breathing problems. The toxin acts on peripheral nerve endings, preventing the release of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine, which conveys nerve signals to muscles.
In tiny amounts injected into muscle, it can relieve spasms by causing muscles to relax. The effect lasts for months; when it wears off, the toxin can be reinjected.
Ugh!!
I know a number of women (and I suppose men, who just aren’t sharing) who are turning to Botox as a way to fend off the external markers of aging. And by all appearances it seems to work.
But when I read articles like the recent one in the New York Times that raise concerns about Botox, I find myself moving further and further back in the line of women thinking about using this drug.
How about you?
“Take Your Health to Heart” Challenge
August 14, 2008
Yesterday I had a heart to heart talk with my optimal health coach, Wendy Battles from Don’t Worry Get Healthy. Wendy has her Master’s in Community Psychology and is a certified nutritionist and professional coach. Her mission is to help women in midlife get a grip on how to eat heart healthy. I don’t know about you but with a mother who had a heart attack and a father who died of congestive heart failure, the condition of my heart is a big deal. That’s why I looked Wendy up and asked her to help me change my just OK eating habits into heart healthy habits that will enhance the second half of my life.
Wendy and I talked for an hour about her goal to engage one million women in the ”Take Your Health to Heart” challenge. Click here to learn more about this opportunity to take better care of you and get information and inspiration on how to do it. During our dialog, which was actually the intro to her series on how to get started on the challenge, Wendy told me plenty about the:
- Right foods to support heart health
- The most harmful foods
- The top 5 heart healthy foods and
- How to get started on a heart healthy plan today!
Because this is an issue that’s so important to the readers here at Midlife’s A Trip, I got Wendy’s permission to post the one hour audio of her intro here for you. So put up your feet, sit back and listen to Wendy on taking your health to heart.
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Karen - Midlife Coach
