Have any of you ever had a best friend — that person who knows you better than anyone else and who loves you unconditionally, flaws and all? The person who shares the ups and downs with you and never complains when you don’t always get the lesson that life is offering? The person who is always in your corner and always in your prayers?
Well I have that best friend. For purposes of this post, I’m going to refer to her as “Susan”. Susan and I have been friends for almost 50 years. We met when we were 6 years old. I remember that day when our dads were standing by my backyard talking and all of a sudden 2 little heads popped up in her dad’s convertible parked at the curb. It was Susan and her little brother who had been hiding in the back seat.
We had such fun growing up together. We loved Motown, hula hoops, JFK and Jackie, pajama parties, Ouija boards and Barbie dolls. Amazingly Susan still has her collection of Barbie dolls and accessories. We screamed over the Beatles together–driving our dads crazy on the carpool rides back and forth to school–Paul was her favorite, George was mine.
As we got older, boys became a favorite of the many life issues we discussed. From high school on, any man who came into either of our lives was analyzed, dissected and determined jointly to be either the right or wrong one to hold an important place in our hearts. Sometimes — oddly never at the same time, one of us would end up with a broken heart. Always the other would be there to console, advise and share the unique combination of tears and laughter that best friends like Susan and I have perfected.
When Susan and I moved in the our respective roles as mothers, our children became the beneficiaries of our friendship. You know the saying that:
It takes a village to raise a child.
Well together Susan and I formed that village for our kids. We shared and compared child-rearing advice and experiences. We shook our heads and commiserated as our children navigated through some of the same stormy waters we did in our youth. And again, our friendship helped us stay the course of motherhood just like every other aspect of our lives.
Now in midlife, Susan and I are entering a new phase of our friendship — the most difficult but I believe the most meaningful. Susan has been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s. With a mother who has dementia, I’ve grown somewhat used to the idea of an elderly person having this dreadful disease. As you might imagine, nothing could have prepared me for my friend having Alzheimer’s at 56 years old.
But for Susan and I, Alzheimer’s is but another blip on the big screen of our mega-friendship. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, best friends are there for one another through the ups and downs. And so that will be for Susan and I. Nothing — even Alzheimer’s — can change that.
Ladybeams
31. Jul, 2008
I’m sorry to hear read about your friend. A good friend of mine seemed to also be on the onset of Alzheimer’s. Since her mother also had it at an early age, I’m afraid the odds were against her from the start. For me it was a very odd feeling when this became apparant. I too would be there for her, but at this point and because of her background, we haven’t even been able to talk about it.
Karen
03. Aug, 2008
Ladybeams–I hope your friend has been assessed by a neurologist because there are drugs available now that can slow the progression of Alzheimers. My friend’s grandmother had the disease and I too have wondered about the genetic component. And like you, my friend and I don’t talk about her illness. I really miss our conversations which are very short now because whe forgets what words to use. It’s hard, isn’t it. I especially appreciate your comments on this aspect of having a friend with Alzheimers. Thanks for commenting. Stop by again soon.
Karen