A Letter to the Little Girl Who Would Be Me
Posted on 29. Jul, 2008 by Karen in Misc
Dear Karen–
I am writing you from midlife to let you know that I think of you often. You are just a little girl now with sparkling eyes and already the infectious smile you’ll be known for throughout your life. Remember to turn that smile inwards to yourself–don’t just save it for others.
As you grow older, people will sometimes think that your smile means that you’re happy all the time. Although I wish that could be, it won’t be. You’re not the kind of person who wears your problems on the outside for everyone to see. But, take it from me, share the load from time to time. There will be people who love and care for you and will help if you just ask.
Because you’re the oldest child, you will be an over-achiever for much of your life. When you get to midlife, though, you’ll realize that you can be the person you want to be — not the person others expect you to show up as. It’s liberating! I know you don’t know what that word means yet, but trust me — it’s better than those Orange creamsicles you like.
I wish I was there for the times when you’re afraid. I want you to remember something to counteract the fear. This is something you won’t understand for a while because you’re only 3. It’s an acronym which means that each letter stands for a word. I’ll write this one down for you because it’s important. Keep it in that little pink jewelry box of yours with the ballerina who spins to music when you open the lid. When you get old enough, here’s what you will read:
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal
It means that a lot of the time, what we think is scary is only that way because we imagine it to be. There are good ways to use your imagination. As you grow up, you’ll forget to exercise this skill. But something about the transformation you go through in midlife will set your imagination on fire in a way that allows you to see the magic in life again — just as you see it now.
I want you always to believe in yourself. Yes — like you believe in Santa Claus now but different because this is just about you — an amazing person with a never-ending enthusiasm for life. You will always have this special gift. Treasure it as you treasure that new doll you just got from Mommy and Daddy for your birthday last month.
And take care of yourself. The person you’ll grow up into will often look out for others first. That’s why I’m reminding you now to be selfish sometimes (don’t listen to your mother on this point) and focus on what you want out of life. Don’t wait until midlife to understand this.
Remember always that people love you for who you are. And if they don’t — that’s OK too. You’ll learn along the way that not everyone is your friend. But you’ll have some wonderful friends who will love you. You just have to love yourself — as I love you and the woman you’ll become
I’m going to end this letter for now because it’s getting close to your bedtime. Yes — of course you can have the night light on. Enjoy life little one and know that I’ll always be looking out for you — the little girl who would be me.
One day.
Love always,
Karen at Midlife
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8 Responses to “A Letter to the Little Girl Who Would Be Me”
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Rod Frantz
30. Jul, 2008
Karen,
This is just beautiful and timely, too. I read it first thing when I got out of bed and, although I was familiar with the FEAR acronym, I hadn’t thought of it nor used it in some time. The idea of writing to oneself at a younger age though is quite unique and something I might employ in my own writings.
Thank you for this lovely gift to start the day…I sincerely treasure it!!!
Rod
Madeleine Phillips
30. Jul, 2008
Dear Karen:
You made me cry! This is a beautiful tribute to yourself! Thank you for sharing. You are amazing!
Madeleine
b
30. Jul, 2008
Thank you thank you for this heartfelt letter to your Child Within.
Years ago (in therapy), I was encouraged to rediscover myself as a youngster – and to learn to take care of that little girl, with her fears, hopes, joy, dreams, wonder – and confusion – about the world.
You’ve just reminded me how important it is to do that.
As an adult, I have fears, hopes, joy, dreams, wonder and confusion and the need for others to comfort me, as well as to be able to self-comfort.
As it did for Madeleine, your letter also prompted my tears. It was so easy to cry when I was little and as an adult, it is more difficult to let the tears fall. Yet it shouldn’t be – the feelings are still there…I’m still that kid, but bigger…older…
Karen
30. Jul, 2008
Rod–I was surprised how the thoughts started to flow as I wrote the letter. It was cathartic in a way. Hope you’ll share your letter when you write it
Madeleine and b–I’m glad you read the letter although I certainly didn’t want to make you cry!! But the sincerity of all the comments here bring tears to my eyes. I feel so blessed that I discovered blogging because it’s put me in touch with readers like both of you and Rod who share more in this virtual environment than many people I’ve connected with in person. Funny isn’t it?
And b–I realized as I wrote that my little girl is still here too.
Karen
Karen
Megan Smith
06. Aug, 2008
Hi Karen,
What a great letter. And what a nice way to remind ourselves how crippling our fears can be.
Megan
Chris
06. Aug, 2008
Karen,
I enjoy your writing so much! Thank you for your beautiful perspective…it really is inspiring.
Karen
07. Aug, 2008
Chris–thanks for your feedback. I was a little surprised at what came out as I started to write. Now having had the experience, I thoroughly recommend the exercise. It’s a good way to clear out some inner baggage. Thanks for visiting and I hope you’ll stop by often.
Karen
Karen
07. Aug, 2008
Megan–You’re right about fear. As adults we’re still afraid of things that go “bump” in the night — or in our lives. Thanks for your feedback.
Karen